Alyssa Luboff, Ph.D.

Alyssa Luboff, Ph.D.

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  • Two Secrets to Hope

    Two Secrets to Hope

    People often reach out to me and say, “Alyssa, my life is insane. You just can’t imagine.” And I get it. I actually can imagine. I’ve been there. My life has been – and still is, because we’re always learning and growing – everything but simple or easy. And then there are the people I […]

    alyssaluboff

    January 19, 2023
  • The Truth about Anger

    The Truth about Anger

    Many of us were taught as children to hold in our anger and to hide it. We didn’t feel safe to embrace our emotions or to express our truths. Many of us believed – and still do – that our anger is bad and hurts people. So, we hold it in, often to protect those […]

    alyssaluboff

    September 13, 2022
  • What to Do When Life Is Really Hard

    What to Do When Life Is Really Hard

    There are times when life is really hard, when it feels like everything is falling apart, like things couldn’t possibly get any worse, until they do. How are you supposed to handle that? How are you supposed to even begin to make your way out of a mess like that? Start by asking yourself just […]

    alyssaluboff

    August 15, 2022
  • The Shutdown We Truly Cannot Afford

    The Shutdown We Truly Cannot Afford

    Why can’t we afford another shutdown? The economy, the elections…So we force sick employees back into the workplace and traumatized students back into the schoolhouse…What about the workers whose personal lives fall apart under the stress? What about the drop in the labor force when so many are forced into early retirement? What about the […]

    alyssaluboff

    December 30, 2021
  • People Who Panic Are Brave. You Should Be, Too.

    People Who Panic Are Brave. You Should Be, Too.

    About a decade ago, while surfing the Internet, I stumbled on a page written by someone who suffers from panic disorder. She was offering a course on how to overcome anxiety. I read her descriptions of not being able to leave her apartment with a complete lack of understanding. What was so hard about going […]

    alyssaluboff

    October 7, 2021
  • Feel Like Your Work and Personal Life Are in Tension? There’s Just One Answer.

    Feel Like Your Work and Personal Life Are in Tension? There’s Just One Answer.

    Here’s a variation on a familiar saying: Life is what happens while you’re trying to get your work done. For many of us, balancing the demands of work and relationships feels impossible. These can be relationships with parents, partners, children, friends, and also ourselves. What we need to do to make a living feels at […]

    alyssaluboff

    September 30, 2021
  • The One Reason You Might Think You Don’t Like Breathwork and Four More to Give It a Try

    The One Reason You Might Think You Don’t Like Breathwork and Four More to Give It a Try

    If you are like me, the very thought of breathwork can leave you gasping for air. No form of mindfulness sounds less relaxing or restoring than being asked to focus on your breath. Your heart starts racing. Your breathing becomes fast and shallow. Or maybe you get a queasy feeling in your stomach. For people […]

    alyssaluboff

    September 22, 2021
  • The Anatomy of a Broken Heart, and How to Heal One

    The Anatomy of a Broken Heart, and How to Heal One

    The death of a loved one. The rupture of a relationship. The loss of a job. The failure of a project. The dismantling of a dream. The end of an era. There are many reasons that the heart breaks, that we feel an emptiness in the center of our chests as the world around us […]

    alyssaluboff

    February 23, 2021
  • Don’t Be Afraid to Hurt Those You Love

    Don’t Be Afraid to Hurt Those You Love

    You may think from the title that this post is about being selfish or taking advantage of people. It’s actually about learning to love more. And it’s not written for sadists or manipulators; it is for caretakers and co-dependent types. We each have different styles of loving, and with them, comes different healing work to […]

    alyssaluboff

    February 12, 2021
  • Seeing My White Privilege

    Seeing My White Privilege

    I don’t like the word, “privilege.” It connotes the idea of something better, something earned; and whiteness is neither. But the phrase #whiteprivilege has proved useful in explaining the differences in daily experience between people who are white and people of color. This is an essay I wrote several years ago under the title, “Why […]

    alyssaluboff

    May 10, 2020
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Blog at WordPress.com.

Remember to let love in.💜 Read my new blog post, “Two Secrets to Hope.” Link in bio. Sometimes our pain is so heavy that we feel incredible urgency about healing and transforming it. But when we can simply be with it in the present moment, just as it is, the pain, in fact transforms. Your truth is just that – YOURS - your voice, your unique frequency that makes your spirit soar. It’s not something anyone can give to you. Claim it for yourself, and then those who love and support you will recognize it, too. “What do I do with this feeling???” Sometimes we try so hard to change what we feel, but it’s actually just feeling what we’re feeling, just compassionately holding space for it, that allows it to transform. It is beautiful to see someone’s potential and to support their growth, but, too often, we fall in love with who we want people to be, not with who they actually are. True love springs from the present moment – right here, right now, however things are. It is that presence and acceptance that, in fact, bring about the growth we dream of. This post is a tribute to the work of @relaxchangecreate (Andrew Johnson), who so beautifully weaves these words into his meditation and hypnosis sessions. Peace and calm exist always and only in one place – the present moment. We can run in circles looking for them in the past, the future, or imaginary worlds, but the one and only place they ever will be is right here, for us and within us – the exact moment that we give ourselves permission to settle down and be present with all that is. I wrote this for a client to help her prepare for surgery, to let her know that she would return safely and easily to her body when the anesthesia wore off. Because of trauma, many of us know the feeling of what it is like to be “out of our bodies” - not in a self-directed way like lucid dreaming, but in a way filled with numbness and fear. Use this gentle practice whenever you find yourself disassociating to help you reintegrate and feel whole. Remember: the more you practice, the easier it becomes to return to a place of connection, balance, and peace.🤍 This post is for all of you who live with chronic illness. From the outside, it’s easy for others to say, “You are always sick!” But from the inside, we can transform that truth. We are always healing, always growing, always discovering new and more expansive ways of being.💚
 

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