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Your Pain Matters, Too
I often hear people diminish their own suffering with phrases like: It’s just first world problems. I have it so much easier than other people. It’s no big deal. I really have no right to complain. Sometimes we say these things because we’re trying to remind ourselves to be grateful for what we do have.…
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Two Secrets to Hope
People often reach out to me and say, “Alyssa, my life is insane. You just can’t imagine.” And I get it. I actually can imagine. I’ve been there. My life has been – and still is, because we’re always learning and growing – everything but simple or easy. And then there are the people I…
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The Truth about Anger
Many of us were taught as children to hold in our anger and to hide it. We didn’t feel safe to embrace our emotions or to express our truths. Many of us believed – and still do – that our anger is bad and hurts people. So, we hold it in, often to protect those…
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What to Do When Life Is Really Hard
There are times when life is really hard, when it feels like everything is falling apart, like things couldn’t possibly get any worse, until they do. How are you supposed to handle that? How are you supposed to even begin to make your way out of a mess like that? Start by asking yourself just…
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The Shutdown We Truly Cannot Afford
Why can’t we afford another shutdown? The economy, the elections…So we force sick employees back into the workplace and traumatized students back into the schoolhouse…What about the workers whose personal lives fall apart under the stress? What about the drop in the labor force when so many are forced into early retirement? What about the…
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People Who Panic Are Brave. You Should Be, Too.
About a decade ago, while surfing the Internet, I stumbled on a page written by someone who suffers from panic disorder. She was offering a course on how to overcome anxiety. I read her descriptions of not being able to leave her apartment with a complete lack of understanding. What was so hard about going…
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Feel Like Your Work and Personal Life Are in Tension? There’s Just One Answer.
Here’s a variation on a familiar saying: Life is what happens while you’re trying to get your work done. For many of us, balancing the demands of work and relationships feels impossible. These can be relationships with parents, partners, children, friends, and also ourselves. What we need to do to make a living feels at…
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The One Reason You Might Think You Don’t Like Breathwork and Four More to Give It a Try
If you are like me, the very thought of breathwork can leave you gasping for air. No form of mindfulness sounds less relaxing or restoring than being asked to focus on your breath. Your heart starts racing. Your breathing becomes fast and shallow. Or maybe you get a queasy feeling in your stomach. For people…
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The Anatomy of a Broken Heart, and How to Heal One
The death of a loved one. The rupture of a relationship. The loss of a job. The failure of a project. The dismantling of a dream. The end of an era. There are many reasons that the heart breaks, that we feel an emptiness in the center of our chests as the world around us…
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Don’t Be Afraid to Hurt Those You Love
You may think from the title that this post is about being selfish or taking advantage of people. It’s actually about learning to love more. And it’s not written for sadists or manipulators; it is for caretakers and co-dependent types. We each have different styles of loving, and with them, comes different healing work to…
Alyssa Luboff, Ph.D. 