Meet Me in the Middle

An old college friend once posted, “I’m from the middle of the country, and my political views are exactly the same – they fall right in the middle.” It was a tense election season, and I, swept up in the rhetoric of one side, could not relate. Didn’t the middle mean that you were only half right? And worse, that you were also half wrong?

The following years brought more political tension and, for me, more understanding of what my friend had written. As the country grew more polarized, I found myself diving deeper into the practice of mindfulness. And there I discovered a new sense of the middle – not as an ideological space, but as a meeting space – a place of connection where dialogue leads to new understanding, solutions, and growth.

To find the middle, we must first understand what it feels like. It is a place that we can recognize in our own bodies by the signs of a calm and regulated nervous system. We feel our feet on the ground, our muscles soft and relaxed, our breath steady and deep. Our gaze is focused yet soft and open. We are ready, first of all, to listen and to notice; and then, at the right moment, to speak and to act.

When each of us can feel our own middle, our place of inner balance, then connection happens naturally. Aggression simmers down, and we begin to see each other through eyes of compassion. Beneath the differences, we recognize our common humanity – that at our roots, we share the same needs to be safe, nourished, and loved; we experience the same desires to live well and to create meaningfully; and we feel the same fear for the wellbeing of our loved ones and home.

When we are not in our own middle, then we hold onto separateness. We see others as not just different, but as wrongheaded, uneducated, and ill-willed. We feel isolated and desperate as we look around the world and imagine that we are the only sane ones, the only ones who care, the only ones who have the answers – if only everyone else would just listen.

From this place of separateness, we stand little chance of answering questions of right and wrong, or even of reaching compromise with the other side. This is because we are so polarized that we have left no common ground. But here is the key: that feeling of separateness exists on both sides. So, if we pause for a moment, check in with ourselves, and connect with our own middle, we can begin to recognize in our very differences our shared humanity. If we set aside judgment for a moment and look at the world through eyes of compassion, we can begin to recognize that the other side is not made largely of fools, but of people who are concerned about the direction of our world. They sense the suffering – of themselves, the people they love, and the planet. They feel the confusion of a world that changes faster than anyone can make sense of it. They feel the loss of Nature and traditions that gave our ancestors’ lives structure and meaning.

We all struggle to find answers. Some cling to old ways. Some dive full throttle into the new. Some swing back and forth. Others freeze or give up. Yet in the middle lies an opportunity, a creative possibility. In this calm space, we can connect with not only our shared humanity, but the tools to rebuild our common ground. There is peace, meaning, and direction right here, in this very moment. As we learn to embody it and follow it, we uncover an understanding that feels very new, but reveals the virtues of the old ways – of what it means, at a foundational level, to be honorable and wise, of what it means to live in harmony with each other and with our planet.  

How beautiful it is to make order from chaos. In the middle lies the hidden gift of these hard times that we are all in together. Take a breath, and come meet me here. We might just find ourselves building bridges – that repair the old and create the new.